A Day in the Life of Umino Iruka
by RinkyPink
Summary: KakaIru! A step by step look at how our favourite sensei spends his day.


**Dis****claimers: Yadda yadda, blah blah, me no owney… the usual!**

**I really have no idea where this came from… Hopefully it'll make you laugh though!**

**A Day in the Life of Umino Iruka**

**By RinkyPink**

06:00. Woken by alarm clock. Too tired to get out of bed, decided to ignore it.

06:01. Alarm clock seems to have caught onto ploy, will not stop ringing.

06:02. Second alarm goes off. Feeling slightly more inclined to get up; alarms are _loud._

06:03. Both alarms brutally silenced by Kakashi hurling shurikens through them. Must

remember to buy new alarm clocks.

06:04. Kicked Kakashi out of bed for destroying aforementioned alarm clocks- this is

the third time this month. Regretfully decide to get up.

06:20. Finally make it out of bed and out of the grasp of certain perverted jounin. Sprint

to the bathroom; am now running late. Again.

06:33. Throw self out of shower; skid on bathroom towel and smash into wall. Am now

both running late and sporting enormous bruise on temple. Can already tell this

is going to be a bad day.

06:40. Finally dressed and looking halfway presentable, save the bruise. Refuse to tell

Kakashi what happened.

06:41. Kakashi guessed anyway. Bastard is now laughing. Must remember to hurt him

later.

07:00. Eaten breakfast and armed with coffee; feel slightly more human. Start to think

that today might not be so bad after all.

07:01. Remember that didn't finish lesson plan last night due to one Hatake Kakashi's

perverseness. Day has taken a turn for the worse again.

07:30. Sitting alone in classroom scribbling out a lesson plan frantically. Head hurts

like hell. Am planning painful deaths for the next people who bother me.

07:33. Tsunade-sama enters the classroom. Decide to hold off death threats for now-

murdering head of the village isn't one of the greatest plans in the world.

07:36. Just been informed I have to pull an extra shift in the mission room tonight.

Death threats suddenly seem like a good idea again.

07:50. Finally finished lesson plan. However, am now seriously pissed off and slightly

homicidal. Students had better behave today if they want to live. Head still hurts.

07:59. Almost start of school. Have put all weapons in desk; don't need the temptation.

Morning coffee only bright spot in life.

08:00. Class pours into the classroom. All seem disturbingly bright and chipper. This is

definitely going to be a bad day.

08:15. Finally finished calling register; was interrupted constantly by students

demanding to know why I have a bruise on my head. Told them they would have

matching ones if they didn't shut up.

08:35. Forced to stop lesson briefly to remove shurikens from Hyuuga Hanabi.

Explained that aiming them at classmates is not nice.

09:00. Impromptu lecture on the dangers of leaning on the back legs of your chair

whilst dealing with slightly concussed Udon. Head is hurting again.

09:05. Sat Udon on the floor; told him if he couldn't sit properly on a chair then he'd sit

on the ground. Child is still swaying, so not entirely sure how much went in.

09:08. Resumed teaching.

09:10. Stopped again when found Konohmaru plotting to overthrow me. Really, really

don't want to know. Sat him on his own in the corner. Judging by his expression,

seems that a rebellion may not be far off.

10:00. Sweet salvation in the form of recess. Took this opportunity to sit with head on

desk and whimper softly.

10:02. Whimpering is rudely interrupted by Kakashi. Briefly wonder what the hell he's

doing here. Too much effort to ask.

10:03. Apparently he's here to drop off painkillers; have decided that this makes up for

him laughing earlier. No longer have to plot revenge.

10:06. Bastard groped me. Revenge is back on the cards.

10:08. However, do now feel much better thanks to painkillers.

10:30. Ankle-biters are back for more. Feeling much more energetic and therefore

better equipped to deal with them.

11:15. So far have dealt out three detentions, confiscated five different pieces of

weaponry and bandaged three limbs. Keep having to remind self that

annihilating small children is _wrong_.

12:00. Lunch time, also known as Cafeteria Free-For-All. Wisely took self out of battle

zone.

12:04. Apparently not as wise as first thought, as was spotted by Naruto. Got barrelled

over by small orange blur; headache returned with a vengeance.

12:07. Somehow ended up taking Naruto to lunch. Informed we're going to get ramen.

Can hear wallet weeping softly.

12:33. Still stunned over the amount of pasta was small boy can eat. Slightly afraid of

being eaten myself.

12:40. Bid goodbye to the Human Hoover; got tackled hugged. Promised to see him

tomorrow. Can't help but smile.

12:45. Remember that had intended to clean apartment this afternoon and now can't,

because of extra mission room shift. Decide to go and force Kakashi to do it

instead.

12:50. Kakashi not very open to idea. Use gentle persuasion.

12:53. Kakashi changed mind. Went to go get hoover and ice-pack.

12:55. Kakashi switched on hoover.

12:56. Took hoover off Kakashi; never _ever_ going to let him use it again. Told him to

mend the newly broken ornaments and dust instead.

12:58. Cornered as tried to leave; now paying dearly for earlier attack.

13:05. Running late again. Ran into Genma and Raidou on way; both sniggered and

commented on ravished appearance. Told them both where to stick it.

13:10. Back in classroom, eyeing sugar-high students. Debating whether or not to go

home "sick".

13:13. Moegi just laughed for a whole minute without stopping. Pupils the size of

dinner plates. Going home sick looking more and more appealing.

13:30. Broke up fight between Konohmaru and Toki, the cause of which was apparently

Toki calling Konohmaru a "pink weasel". Not entirely sure why.

13:33. Found bundle of Pixie Stix in Moegi's desk. So much is suddenly explained.

13:45. Issued homework for class; essay on proper weapon maintenance.

13:46. Class did not take this well.

13:50. School ends in ten minutes, so decide to untie students. Have to admit though,

that teaching motionless children makes a wonderful change.

14:00. Bell barely finished ringing before classroom is deserted. Ignore fact that am

supposed to be in mission room in five minutes and lie head back down on table.

Today has not been a good day.

14:03. Suddenly find self sitting on lap of certain jounin. Now feel warm, loved and

much better.

14:05. Doesn't change fact that he's now in trouble for groping me. Again.

14:07. Been in mission room for two minutes and already bored shitless. Apparently

it's been a slow day.

14:15. Seem to have spoken too soon; now have a room full of hyperactive jounin. Oh

joy.

14:35. Mildly surprised; didn't know that stapler could be such an effective weapon.

Store this information away for later.

15:00. Being hit on by jounin with alarmingly shiny teeth. Find self being mesmerised.

15:05. Doesn't stop me from decking him one of course.

15:07. Didn't realise Kakashi was in the room. Had to restrain him from going after

Shiny Jounin himself.

15:30. So far, been two fights and five breakdowns/ hissy fits. Worryingly, Genma

initiated both fights. Must remember to never look at Raidou the wrong way.

16:00. Already filled out incident reports. Shift much more eventful then expected.

16:05. Freedom! Escape from building before can be press-ganged into doing anything

else. Decide to go home and relax for a while before making dinner.

16:10. Apparently Kakashi has other ideas.

17:01. Still, now feel very relaxed. Can't be bothered to get up and cook.

17:03. Now hungry, so regretfully haul self out of bed and away from Kakashi.

17:15. Thanks to perverted boyfriend, dressing took much longer then it should have

done. And now cannot find hair tie.

17:23. Beginning to think Kakashi has hidden it.

17:25. Enquire if this is the case. Receive innocent expression and denials. Confirmed

that yes, he has hidden it.

17:34. Finally settle on making chicken stir fry for tea. Refuse to let Kakashi in the

kitchen after what happened last time.

17:36. Kakashi is still sulking. Sent him out to buy new alarm clocks.

17:50. Manage to finish the meal in the peace that follows. Have to remember to mark

papers after dinner.

18:00. Kakashi returns with new alarm clocks. Both of the damn things have dolphins

on them.

18:24. Kakashi is now doing dishes as punishment. Take advantage of solitude to begin

work.

18:40. Feeling surprisingly peaceful, as Kakashi is now curled up next to me reading.

Love quiet evenings in.

19:20. Gai just burst into the apartment. Bid a wistful farewell to quiet evening in.

19:33. Finished grading and now currently drawing up lesson plan. Kakashi is trying to

evict Gai from the apartment.

19:45. Gai is not going quietly.

19:53. Finally alone in the apartment again with Kakashi. Feeling absolutely shattered;

it's been a long day.

20:00. Kakashi suggested we go to bed; for once he has pure intentions. Sounds like

bliss.

20:30. Curled up in bed with Kakashi. Decide there's nowhere else in the world I'd

rather be.

20:33. Remember to set new alarm clocks.

20:40. I wonder how long these ones will last?

XXXXXX

**Geez, I had so much fun writing that! It was actually really relaxing… **** Anyway, hope you all enjoyed, and if you did then please leave a review on your way out- it'll just make my day! 'Til next time!**

**RinkyPink**


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